However small or big, a teenager's heartbreak can ultimately damage a young person's heart and perceptions in life. It hurts the mental state that can disable them from functioning correctly. This might sound overexaggerated—but once you become a parent, every little thing about their children must be taken into complete account. Thus, it is precisely the same case with your teenager's first heartbreak; as much as it is not advised to meddle, parents still get a way to intervene. It is only natural to worry—that is why giving them emotional support seems the best way to handle a teenager's heartbreak.
Youth is the prime of life. It is the era where you get to adjust, discover, learn new things that will equip you for the future. A parent's guidance must be existent during these times—it is their job to keep their children intact and support their growth. Especially in times of pain and despair—the parents will most likely be concerned about their child's well-being.
However, as much as they are concerned—some parents still do not know how to approach their children. Kids are expected to be less distant during teenager years—they tend to move farther to their parents, hoping that they can handle it independently. On the other hand, their parents are having a hard time knowing what-about of their own children—frustrating them and forcing them to open up. This has been a toxic set-up ever since—strengthening the barriers between parents and teenagers.
The question is, who should adjust between the two? Being a parent comes with a big responsibility. One should be emotionally prepared to have children—they should acknowledge how a child's mind works and adjust their mental capabilities. It is your job as a parent to be more mindful with your action and words—every little thing you do can influence a kid's mindset, for the better or worse.
If you have trouble handling your child's emotional struggles, worry not, for this is the perfect place for you! Here, we will tackle tips on how to guide your kid during their first heartbreak.
Listen > Talk
Advises are prominent when a person undergoes burden, but it is more necessary to listen than talk with kids. However small or big a barrier is, teenagers still get embarrassed in opening up to their parents, thus making friends more as their outlet. Being a parent means acknowledging this fact and trying to make it seamless and natural, being more open towards your child's thoughts, and not intervening unless necessary. Listening more towards a young mind talking makes a child at ease; they are more comfortable when someone listens. That is why listening is a significant factor in handling a kid's heartbreak. However, it may not be vocally. The emotional support still lingers. This will significantly help your child going through a difficult time, which may instill in their hearts and minds until they grow up.
Give them validation
It is one right to feel emotions. Thus every struggle is validated. Moreover, children, these days tend to get misheard and misunderstood. Since this era is much different from previous eras, parents have difficulty fitting in their shoes. Since struggles and coping mechanisms differ between kids and their parents. That is why it is essential to give them validation—it is part of your purpose as a child's emotional foundation. Giving them enough assurance will encourage them to change things for the better, breaking barriers between relationships. Another tip in handling your kid's first heartbreak? Do not invalidate; make them feel that they have emotional support backing them up.
Stop pushing it
Regardless of the tips located above, if a child wishes for you to not intervene, do not push it. Identifying your limits and pushing them harder will only make matters worse—more emotionally damaging for your children. That is why it is also essential to set lines; overboard support might be taken negatively, causing a further gap between you and your children. A good intention is there—the feel of support lingers as a parent; however, kids might take it in a different light. It might be frustrating, but for a child to grow, they must take it independently. It is your job to be a support, not as a dictator, towards your kid's feelings. To fully understand, take an intervening person towards every matter in your life, annoying, right? To not be annoying is the key, do not push it too much. If it takes to much extent, then you can interfere. Know if your child can handle it or not, do not spoon-feed everything to them.
Be emotionally ready
It is undeniably hard to become a parent; you need to have a good mental mindset. Being unstable can be damaging to your kid too. Especially in hard times, parents play a crucial role in a kid's puberty stage. Their job is to keep a stable mindset intact, do not make matters worse for a child struggling. That is why it is essential to be more aware and adjust to the changes of time. Every struggle is different, thus handling a teenager's heartbreak seems to be challenging. However hard it is, parents should still be persistent to learn. It is their epitome of love and cares for their children to understand and validate it.
These tips may be hard to implement and understand at first. Still, once you see the results, the effort exerted is definitely worth it. Choosing the right words and actions—these factors play a significant role in becoming a teenager's parent. This crucial time is where a parent should partially intervene—however, not overdo it.
This should serve as a lesson to you; becoming a parent does not necessarily mean to dictate a kid's decision. It is still up to them; you are just a spectator. In handling heartbreaks, it is only natural and logical to worry, but it is not up to you who can decide what to do.
Be a mediator, emotionally ready, and a foundation for your children's struggles.
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