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Separation Anxiety: Every Step that You and Child Will Take, and How to Overcome it

Just like parents who can’t bear to be away from their young ones, their children too will also likely find it difficult at times to be away from them, especially if they’re young. However, a child’s reaction from being away from their parents such as crying, throwing tantrums, or being clingy is normal and are indicators that they may be experiencing separation anxiety which usually occurs between the ages 6 months and 3 years old. At times it may even reoccur when they reach the age of 4.


Of course, the intensity of such reactions vary from child to child, and as they grow older they eventually start to experience it less. But, even as they grow into teens, a part of them might still feel worried whenever a parent or a close family member leaves which is also normal, but it won’t be expressed to the extent where they may cry or throw a tantrum.


Experiencing separation anxiety is a stage children normally undergo through and eventually overcome as they grow older and expand their view on their surroundings. However, if it seems as though their anxiety hasn’t gone away despite the parent’s best efforts to help them manage this, then they might have separation anxiety disorder.


When separation anxiety continues to persist in their elementary school years or beyond and is excessive to the point where it interferes with their daily life, activities, and relationships with other people—not just for a couple of days, but months—then it could be a sign of SAD or separation anxiety disorder.


Signs of Separation Anxiety

  1. The child becomes more clingy when you leave them

  2. Crying or clinging when in new situations or new environments

  3. Refusing to go to sleep if you’re not around or without another caregiver nearby


Signs of SAD or Separation Anxiety Disorder


https://www.news-medical.net/health/Separation-Anxiety-Disorder-Management.aspx


  1. Too much worry about the safety of a family member especially when they’re away

  2. Too much worry from being away from home

  3. Too much worry about their own safety

  4. Having panic attacks or temper tantrums during times of separation from parents or close family members

  5. Being very clingy, even when together or at home

  6. Refusing to go to school


Causes of Separation Anxiety Disorder


https://www.verywellhealth.com/separation-anxiety-disorder-symptoms-causes-treatment-5089469


While separation anxiety itself is normal, you might be wondering how separation anxiety disorder on the other hand develops and the causes behind it.


In terms of SAD, experts believe that it may be due to both biological and environmental factors. According to the Nationwide Children’s Org., it is possible for a child to inherit a tendency to be anxious with the culprits most likely pointing to an imbalance of two chemicals in the brain, namely: norepinephrine which regulates stress reactions and serotonin which controls one’s moods. Furthermore, a child may also learn anxiety and fear from their family members or from their environment. On the other hand, if a child suddenly exhibits symptoms of separation anxiety disorder overnight, then it might’ve been caused by an unaddressed trauma.


That being said, the causes for Separation Anxiety Disorder may be more common than you think. Here are some causes:


https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/20/parenting/separation-anxiety-children.html


1. A sudden change in environment

Being around in a new environment may present difficulties for your child to adjust as they may feel unsafe with their surroundings. Moving to a new house or school for instance can trigger separation anxiety disorder.


2. Gaining stress from various situations

In relation to moving houses, switching schools/daycare, or even losing a loved one, your child might develop stress which can trigger separation anxiety disorder.


3. Insecure attachment bond between child and parent

The attachment bond is the emotional connection a child has with their parent or primary caretaker. This bond is not based on the quality of your care towards your child according to HelpGuide Org., but rather on the nonverbal emotional communication you form with them. That being said, a healthy attachment bond ensures that your child feels secure, understood, and is sufficiently calm for optimal development while an insecure attachment bond can cause various childhood problems such as separation anxiety disorder.


How to help ease your child with separation anxiety


https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/treatment-of-separation-anxiety-disorder


  1. When leaving your child with someone else such as a caregiver or another family member, you’ll want to start by leaving them for brief periods of time and only go for short distance travels. Eventually, once they get used to this and become more comfortable, you can then slowly build it up for longer periods of time and travel further.

  2. If you plan on leaving them in a new place or environment, make sure to acclimate them to it first. For example, if it’s a trusted friend’s house or your parents house, make sure to spend time with them here first before the separation. In this way, they will feel less distressed, and more secure knowing they’re in a familiar place with familiar people surrounding them.

  3. Another way of helping them cope with their separation anxiety while being in new places at the beginning is by allowing them to bring with them something they love from home such as a blanket or a teddy bear.

  4. Tell your child when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back as opposed to leaving quietly without saying anything as it can make them feel even more unsettled and distressed when they suddenly realize you’re not around. This can cause them to become more fearful and will find it hard to let you go the next time.

  5. Before leaving, settling your child in an enjoyable activity can help take their minds off from the thought of you leaving.


For those with Separation Anxiety Disorder:


https://psychmatters.co.za/painful-partings-separation-anxiety-disorder/


  1. As a parent, listening to them and respecting their feelings instead of chastising them goes a long way.

  2. If you know your child is suffering from separation anxiety disorder, educating yourself more about it can help you understand and sympathise with what your child is experiencing.

  3. Have a conversation with your child about it. Contrary to the mindset of “don’t think about it”, talking about it on the other hand can help them process what they’re going through as opposed to simply brushing off what they’re experiencing. Of course, remember to be empathetic and gentle, especially in reminding them how they braved the last separation.













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