There’s a lot of things about being a parent that need plenty of consideration. From taking care of finances to time management, juggling these things on top of making sure the children are well taken care of is no easy feat. For first time parents however, one of the primary concerns is the decision of how to best raise a child which means to be “what type of parent” they want to be for their child. Of course, different parents have their own means of disciplining and raising their child, and this is attributed to the parenting styles they have.
For those unaware or want to widen their knowledge of being a parent, there are actually four types of parenting, some of which may be familiar to many with the most common one being the strict type of parent. But there’s more to it than just that though.
The four types of parenting are as follows: Permissive, Authoritative, Neglectful, and Authoritarian. Each of which have different effects on a child’s psychology and their development which is why it’s important to become aware of these types.
Before diving in, parenting styles are first categorized under two dimensions namely: demandingness and responsiveness.
Demandingness refers to the extent parents control their child’s behavior or their demand for maturity from them.
Responsiveness refers to the degree of acceptance parents are capable of in terms of their child’s emotional and developmental needs.
Permissive
Also referred to as indulgent or lenient parenting, this falls under the category of low demandingness, but high responsiveness. The common traits that signify that one has permissive parenting are as follows:
Open to communication and allows the child to make their own decisions instead of giving direction
Very few rules. If any, these are rarely enforced or not strictly set at all.
Would typically accommodate their child’s wants in fear of making them upset or sad.
Permissive parents are also known as passive parents because of their lack of ability in enforcing rules or healthy boundaries for their children. These parents tend to take on a more friendly approach towards their child rather than a parent role. Typically, they avoid having conflict with their child thus allowing them to get what they want even if it isn’t good for them at all. While this type of parenting can be considered warm and indulgent of their child’s emotional needs, it tends to lead to bad outcomes for the growth of their child such as being unable to follow rules, having bad self-control, possessing egocentric tendencies, and finally they may run into problems with their relationships and interactions towards other people. Lorelai from the show Gilmore Girls is a good example of being a permissive parent, hence the reason why her daughter Rory became self-centered.
Neglectful
Falling under low demandingness and low responsiveness, parents under this category don’t just fail to set boundaries or standards for their child, but they also are indifferent to their needs or could simply be too busy to even care for them.
Lets their child fend for themselves
Offers little to no attention and guidance
Struggles with their own self esteem
Also referred to as uninvolved parenting, there can be many reasons as to why they aren’t involved in their child’s life as much. This could be because of their own mental issues such as low self esteem, depression, physical abuse, or in some cases they truly don’t care about the wellbeing of their child. Children of neglectful parents tend to become impulsive, have addiction problems and are more prone to delinquent behavior, and they may even develop mental health problems.
Authoritarian
This type of parenting is high on demandingness but low on responsiveness. They typically have high standards for their children sometimes to the point of being unreasonable or extreme.
Sets strict rules with little consideration of their child’s feelings
Often counter argues with “Because I said so” when questioned
Mostly one way communication—from parent to child. Disallowing feedback from their child.
This parenting style is often thought to be very rigid, often disguised under the premise of “tough love”. However, it proves to be more detrimental than helpful. They typically don’t respond to their child’s emotional needs and often use harsh punishments when disciplining them. Because of this type of parenting, children may end up having an unhappy disposition in life, become less independent, become prone to temper tantrums, may develop depression, and have unhealthy ways of coping.
Authoritative
The healthiest parenting type. It is not only high in demandingness but also high in responsiveness. While they expect the best from their children, they also don’t fall short of being able to express their love and warm support towards them.
Sets clear rules and expectations but is flexible and understanding of their child’s needs
Frequently communicates and listens to their child’s thoughts and opinions
Allows natural consequences to happen to their child (e.g. failing a quiz because their child didn’t study) but uses these experiences as a learning opportunity for them to reflect on and learn from
Authoritative parents are able to set rules and enforce boundaries while providing their children with reasoning and explanation behind their actions which helps them learn about values and morals. Children who were raised with authoritative parents tend to be happier and content, become more independent, are able to achieve higher academic performance, develop good self esteem, exhibit less violent behavior, and are more securely attached.
Many psychologists and psychiatrists agree that the Authoritative parenting style is the best. Furthermore studies have shown that the best outcomes in children often come from it. However, parenting isn’t really a one size fits all, and that’s important to remember! There are other factors linked that could change the outcome of these parenting styles such as cultural and ethnic factors. Moreover, the child’s temperament and behavior can affect which parenting style might be better suited for them. Ultimately, parenting is really a case of trial and error every time as each kid is different, but knowing these styles and types can be helpful in order for one to make the right steps without falling too heavily on one method.
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