For many people, family is everything. Especially in the culture of us Filipinos, we make sure that we put out family above everything. This is why families and making one should be taken with all seriousness. Family planning is definitely something we should think about not once, twice, but multiple times in order to avoid potential regret. Having a family takes not only financial stability but as well as emotional and mental preparedness like a person handling large government projects much like the Build Build Program, well in this case its a family that you will ne handling and managing your whole life! It’s not something that you should base on mere impulse. There are numerous factors that come into play when it comes to deciding whether or not you should start to make your own family. And once you’ve finally decided to, deciding how many kids you should have is also a question that comes in. Kids and everything else—the joy, the stress, and everything in between, is also not a joke. And just like family planning, it takes a lot of wisdom and discretion to know how many kids best fit your situation in life. Thinking before just deciding creates a harmonious life not just for you but for your future kids as well. Nobody wants to live an unprepared life, living only from paycheck to paycheck and not having the emotional and mental capacity to grasp the responsibilities of having a family. And to help you to become prepared, here is a guide on choosing how many kids you should have.
1. Consider Your Wife’s Health Status
Pregnancy for each woman is different and what is most important is the health of your wife whether or not she is able to conceive. Her age plays a big part in deciding factor if she is still well suited for numerous babies. Pregnancy really takes a toll on a woman’s health so it is just right to consult your wife and her capability first. Remember that a women’s best age for pregnancy is ages between 20 and 35 years old. Above that said number of age, a woman may experience a difficult type of pregnancy. Some women sadly don’t make it alive after bearing a child, this is why age and health condition remain very crucial. Aside from the age and health, it is simply best to consult your wife and her wishes as pregnancy comes with a price. This can be multiple struggles for women such as morning sickness, body aches, leg cramps, and etc. After birth, stretch marks, postpartum depression, and many more then becomes present. Make sure that she is willing to go through that first before deciding if 1,2, or 3 babies will suffice.
2. Consider Your Finances
Whether we like it or not, family requires an adequate amount of finances to survive. This is why it is something that also requires proper decision-making because having many kids without having sufficient funds to provide for them is never a good idea. As parents, we want to provide anything and everything for our kids. And that is exactly what they deserve. Expenses with children can be a great deal of stress if you are not financially ready for it. Education, Food, Diapers, and other important needs don’t come for free. And it might be a big problem if you cannot fulfill the needs of your children. If you believe that your monthly income can sustain only one child, then that is probably the best decision to go with. However, if you believe that your income is enough or even more than enough for two or three children, then it would be a good idea to push through.
3. Consider Your Relationship Condition
Your relationship condition also is an important factor to assess before you jump into having multiple children. It’s important that the relationship is first stable and on the right track because this also determines how well you will be able to parent those children of yours. Having children in a state where there is always conflict among the two partners will result to a child’s mental state also being in distress. This is especially when the child gets to witness firsthand the severe arguments that happen. You must first establish a good foundation as partners. If there is a shaky foundation between the two, then it is best to put on hold the idea of having children. Remember that having children doesn’t fix a relationship. It will be more burdensome for you and for the child. If you have a stable relationship, then one or two children can be good enough, taking into consideration finances and all the crucial factors.
4. Consider Each Other’s Preferences
Lastly, of course, it is important to consider the preference of each other as in partners, it always takes two to tango. Some may prefer 2 while the other may prefer 4 or 3. It differs from person to person. It’s worth noting that children of 3 are said to be very stressful, according to a survey of 7,000 moms. But if it is something that you truly love, then for sure it is worth the stress. If both cannot agree on the same number of children, then it is best to meet in the middle or start with one baby and wait for a while until the two have sufficient experience about having and taking care of a baby. If both are still up for a challenge, then that’s the time where they should try for another. And as time goes by and you get to understand the joyous parts and the hard parts of having a baby, then perhaps that is the best time to decide on whether or not you should add more babies into the family.
Sometimes a lot of couples tend to get excited over the idea of having a baby. The cuteness and all that really does get to you. However, there’s more to babies than just cuteness. There’s a responsibility and a duty entrusted to you as a parent. That’s something that one must first understand before giving in to the pressure of having a child just because others are also having them or because of the baby fever. But regardless of how many babies you want to have, with pure love, intention, and the right planning, you are bound to get by the hardships.
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