When it comes to being a parent, there is no one-size-fits-all. It’s a constant learning process; figuring out what works and what doesn’t requires a bit of trial and error. But of course, being a parent means you can’t afford to make too many mistakes, after all the wellbeing of your child is always at stake, and parents simply want nothing more than the best for their children.
Often, the pressure of parenting comes from all this advice and information that is being handed out, sometimes it’s all too confusing to make sense of, especially when some of them outright conflict with what’s supposedly the best way to approach certain matters concerning your child. To make things even harder, you need to find a good balance between other areas of your life, managing your relationships with other people, and fulfilling your responsibilities both at home and work.
Fortunately, modern parents have access to information on the many ways of parenting that might’ve been difficult to learn or know about in the past and this is all thanks to the power of the world wide web. Put your “modern parent” hat on as the list below highlights a few things you need to know about raising your child without having to sacrifice who you are in the process.
On Parenting Styles
As mentioned earlier, there isn’t a one size fits all when it comes to raising a child, and that very much applies to parenting styles as well.
Research has shown that often, the children who grow up to be independent and have high self esteem were raised with a parent who employed an authoritative parenting style. For those who don’t know the four types of parenting styles, here’s a brief background for each:
Authoritative - considered the healthiest type of parenting. While parents expect the best from their children, they also don’t fall short of expressing their love, comfort, and support towards them.
Authoritarian - parents under this category demand highly from their children, setting high standards for them often considered to be extreme and/or unreasonable. Unlike authoritative parents, they don’t give back any emotional support or express genuine love and care.
Permissive - these are the parents who don’t enforce healthy boundaries and rules. Instead, they approach their children with the attitude of a friend instead of a parent, often avoiding conflict and would mostly spoil their children.
Neglectful - as the word implies, these are the parents who are usually uninvolved with their child’s growth which can be due to their absence, indifference, or personal mental health issues.
When it comes to developing a certain way on how you would want to best raise your child, it is important to always find the right balance. The question is, how?
Every child is different, and as they continue to grow you will find that certain patterns have changed and that some methods don’t work anymore. The important thing to remember is to also learn how to grow alongside your child, but be consistent and firm with your approach in expressing your love and care towards them. Find what works best for you and your young one, always putting your best foot forward.
On teaching and disciplining
Children sometimes can be difficult to understand and even more challenging to appease. However by continuing to be firm but gentle, you will eventually be able to stir them into developing healthy habits and a positive attitude.
Meals
A parent always dreads about when it comes to their child is being a picky eater. Understandably, they don’t want their children to become picky with their food. While some find that forcing them to eat certain things will help them get used to it, it may negatively affect their attitude towards meals.
One thing’s for sure though, you don’t need to cook a picky eater a special meal of their own. But also, there is no need to fight with each other on the table during mealtime. Instead, make it a conversation between you and your child; have them go grocery shopping with you and allow them to choose which vegetables and fruits they want to try; help them develop their palate by tricking them into eating a colorful meal that would be appetizing to their eyes as well; try out new recipes that will enable them to develop an excitement for eating.
Furthermore, establish a family meal setting where everyone is interacting with one another—sharing stories and catching up instead of showing them a set up where everyone's on their phones as they bring their spoons to their mouths.
Discipline
The biggest part of a parent’s job is teaching children the correct manners and proper conduct in social situations. While it is frustrating for kids to be acting out, it’s also important to remember that they are in need of guidance which means really having to lengthen your patience.
While physical discipline such as punishments have been a longtime method used in parenting, it does have the tendency of causing children to develop aggressive behaviors. A good method to try out is by praising them for their positive behaviors as this reinforces them to repeat these good actions. But it is inevitable that parents will have to scold their children and enter into a territory of conflict, and that’s actually fine. Sometimes, establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship (telling them that you are their mother/father) is needed. Regulating their behavior is part of being a parent.
Being a parent in the midst of COVID
This moment in time is a very drastic change compared to previous years. Being a parent now is arguably a lot more difficult and even more worrying with the threat of a virus. It has also caused plenty of people to break down into a spiral and suffer depression. Thus, caring for a child who is also as anxious as you about the state of the world can be too much to bear. Remember to take care of yourself too and ask for help if needed. Don’t beat yourself up too much for sometimes being incapable of doing things, these are understandably hard times.
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