We all know the importance of good communication skills when it comes to parenting. When you have good communication skills as a parent, you are most likely to raise your children just as skilled as you are when it comes to communication. And with that, good communication actually brings a lot of good things to the table. And while parenting can be a little tricky, having skills in that aspect actually comes in handy in some very critical situations. Especially when you are bringing not too good news for your child. It can be very hard for your child and for you as well. Relaying bad news may not always be one’s cup of tea. Others would prefer to just not relay it at all. But of course, that would give you long-term headaches. Good thing that relaying bad news to your child does not have to be too difficult if you know all the important tips that will give you guidance. To make sure things don’t come to the worst situations, here’s what you need to when relaying bad news to your child.
1. Look For the Right Time
Timing in all things is important but it is most important during days like these wherein bad news may actually make one good day the worst. Looking for the right time to say bad news plays a big role to determine how your child will react once they find out about the news. It would be a good idea to find a time wherein they are in as a very calm state as possible. Avoid giving out bad news when they are already having a bad day as this can make it very hard for them to digest mentally. This may also result to them having major breaks downs as they would perceive their problems piling up. While it is important not to give bad news on a bad day, try not to also give bad news on a child’s best day ever. Avoid important dates such as their birthday, or Christmas, or any happy holiday. This is because giving such news on a happy holiday or date removes their joy for that supposedly happy day alone. As a parent, you will know when the perfect time is to give out bad news. Usually, a mediocre day is the best day as there are no big expectations.
2. Be Honest
As said earlier, some people would opt to just rather keep the bad news than actually say it simply because it’s easier. However, there are long-term problems that you will have to face when you go for that option. In the same way, withholding crucial information just to mitigate the effect of the bad news will also give you more and more problems as time goes by. Some people try to leave out other important parts of a bad news thinking that it will somehow sound better. The truth is, it doesn’t make it any better. It actually makes it worse because if you’re not going to give the full story now, you’re going to have to eventually. One bad day is better than two, so it’s better to just be honest about the whole thing and call it a day. However, honesty doesn’t mean blunt and brutal. There are still better ways to say certain words to make the situation less sad. Based on your child’s age, that is where you can base how you can lay out the facts. The approach can be in a kind way but still can present all the necessary facts that make the bad news as a whole.
3. Respect Their Time Needed to Overcome
Depending on the Child’s personality, it varies how much time they need to cope up with the bad news they just got. Some children take days or even up to weeks to cope and be back to their happy old self. However, there are instances wherein it may take longer than that. As a parent, it is your responsibility to provide patience especially when it is needed the most. Assure them that on the process of coping up with the bad news, it is okay to take their time and they have your utmost respect and care. Just as you as a parent would want respect, you must also be willing to give to your child in times like these. Avoid being frustrated when they are still down in the dumps because of the emotions they feel. Remember that it is not their fault how the bad news may affect them, they are after all, a recipient as well of the bad news as well. For any support they might need either emotional or whatever they might need, be ready to provide as this will help them regain their strength to overcome the challenges of what bad news bring.
4. Be A Role-Model
In trying times like these, what children need is strength. Typically, what children see from their parent influences them to what they are to become. If you model a strong person, not in a sense that you do not show your emotions but in a way that you know how to handle them properly, most likely your child will make you as an inspiration to become just as strong as you are. This doesn’t mean to say that you should suppress your feelings in any way. It is okay for your child to see you cry, be angry, or whatever emotion. This also helps them understand that all feelings are valid. What is a must is being able to handle any difficult situation with courage, understanding and strength. You must first become what you want them to be. If you lash out on bad news and expect your child to be completely different then it’s far fetch expectation. Keep in mind that a child’s first idol is always going to be their parent. It is best to make sure that you maintain a good and strong image. Take care of your emotional well-being and everything will follow as well.
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