A parent’s job comes with many responsibilities as well as considerations. Not only do they have the duty of providing for their children but they also have the obligation of nurturing them. Naturally there are many things that children aren’t capable of doing, thus, parenting becomes essential as this helps children learn about their environment and also prepares them for independence.
Of course, every parent’s style of disciplining their children and raising them varies. There are countless types of parenting styles other than the usual classifications many people know about such as authoritative, permissive, etc. And this just shows how different parenting can be for every child’s needs. However, parenting doesn’t have to be an impossible hurdle to overcome especially when changes constantly take place as children grow up.
Positive Parenting
Positive Parenting is a step away from parenting styles where parents, for example, would demand highly from their children with often little response to their emotional needs (authoritative) or are less involved in their children’s life (negligent). Instead, it is an empathy-based type of parenting that focuses more on using encouragement and teaches problem-solving as opposed to harsh punishments, shouting, shaming, and rewards based motivation.
At its core, positive parenting allows parents to raise their child in a happy and healthy environment that is responsive to their needs and temperament. It doesn’t mean that parents become lenient however, but instead, their ways of teaching and disciplining emphasises mutual respect; focusing on reinforcing future proper behaviour rather than punishing past mistakes.
While some may argue that teaching kids a lesson by constant yelling or physical punishment is more effective than other methods, studies have shown that these can actually have the opposite effect where they will instead feel angry, guilty, and even frustrated instead of truly learning from their mistakes. This could lead to them misbehaving even more. Meanwhile others are instilled with having fear instead of respect which could cause their emotional growth to be stunted. Ultimately, there is little to almost no change and the cycle continues to repeat itself.
Positive parenting entails the following:
Strengthening connection and relationship by spending time with each other doing delightful but meaningful activities
Praising specific actions and encouraging good behaviour through words instead of giving rewards
Focusing on things you can control as a parent
Giving age-appropriate guidelines as well as reasonable consequences for their behaviour
Focusing on positive interactions in correcting problematic behaviour instead of yelling, nagging, shaming, etc.
Benefits of Positive Parenting
Here are just some of the benefits that comes from the positive parenting style:
Closer relationship between parent and child
A parent who follows the positive parenting style doesn’t need to enforce punishments in order to correct their child’s behaviour. As a result, there is no hostility nor power struggle thus changing the parent-child dynamic. In this relationship, parents and their children openly communicate and have mutual respect for one another thus strengthening their bond.
Lesser behavioural problems
Studies have shown that children who are positively disciplined exhibit better emotional growth and confidence in themselves as opposed to those who have been through harsh or uninvolved parenting.
Greater academic performance
Children who are being positively parented see more success in their academics because they aren’t exactly pressured to excel at the expense of their mental and physical health. Instead, they are given encouragement and support in their studies which helps them in performing better.
Better mental well-being as well as self-esteem
Positive parenting gives space for children to process their emotions in a healthier way while also being able to better understand why certain behaviours and actions aren’t good. They aren’t punished for their mistakes though they may still face the consequences of such actions. However, rather than the parent focusing on their previous misconduct, they are given better attention and encouragement whenever they do something good which reinforces such habits within them. It helps them develop their self-esteem better and positively affects their mental well-being.
Tips for Positive Parenting
With all that’s said about positive parenting, it can admittedly still be a little confusing to grasp, especially for those who don’t know where to start. Here are some tips to help you start out with positive parenting:
Toddlers
Spend time with your toddler by arranging a specific time for activities such as reading them a book to bed, taking them on a small walk or ride, teaching them simple words and songs.
Give them your attention and praise whenever they show positive behaviour and limit the attention you give when they show defiant behaviours such as throwing a tantrum.
Preschoolers
Let your child help out with small and simple chores.
Encourage them to play and interact with other children.
Be clear and consistent when it comes to disciplining your child. Become a role model for them to follow and explain the behaviours you expect from them.
Whenever they encounter a problem or feel upset, help them through the steps to solve it.
Use complete sentences when conversing with them and don’t shy away from using grown up words.
Middle Childhood years
Recognize their accomplishments and show them your affection.
Ask them to help out with simple household chores.
Make clear rules and be consistent in enforcing them such as their bedtime or their TV screen time.
Spend time with each other by having a conversation like asking them about their school, friends, goals, etc.
Do fun things together as a family like going out on a trip, watching a movie, eating out, etc.
Young teens
Don’t shy away from sensitive topics, instead be honest and direct with them in discussing things like drinking, smoking, sex, etc.
Help them make healthy choices while also encouraging them to make their own decisions.
Let them know that you’re listening. Respect their opinions and consider their thoughts and feelings.
Teens
Respect their need for privacy.
Encourage them to take care of themselves by getting enough sleep and eating proper meals.
Pay attention to their changes in behaviour. Talk about their concerns. Let them know that you care and you’re listening.
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