photo from: https://www.today.com/parents/moms/what-is-sittervising-tiktok-trend-rcna48115
Recently a new parenting trend has made its way over social media platforms basically introducing a new way of supervising one’s children. They call it “sittervising”. But what does it mean? Surely, common sense must’ve kicked in by now and most would’ve guessed it as a combination of the words “babysitter” and “supervising”, however it’s actually far from it, and it doesn’t involve a babysitter at all.
Sittervising is when the parent allows their kids to play while supervising them in a seated position. This means that the parent isn’t actively playing with their child, but rather watching them from a distance. This method of parenting allows the child to play independently while still being looked out for by their parents. The term “Sittervising” was coined by Susie Allison, a blogger who owns the popular Busy Toddler page on Instagram. She explains it as the act of sitting down while supervising one’s children. In her video caption she says that parents don’t always have to hover around their children when they are playing nor should they always feel the need to be playing with them all the time. Furthermore, she elaborates that kids need to be able to play without adults while at the same time, adults need a moment to recharge from their kids. Allison says that with sittervising, it requires the understanding that parents don’t have to actively be a part of their child’s play time. She explains that with this method of parenting, children will be able to play without interference from their parents, hence a more enhanced play-learning process for the child. Though half of the word sittervising is coined from the word “sitting”, it doesn’t strictly mean that the parent is simply sitting somewhere, but they could also be doing other things such as laundry or cooking.
Sittervising at its core basically helps children develop both on their own and with their parents. Allowing a child to play on their own will help them gain a sense of independence and enable them to become self-sufficient. Meanwhile, children who are neurodivergent greatly benefit from this because not only are they slowly learning how to play independently but also, they have a parent who would still be there to look out for them whenever they need assistance. Being able to play is essential to a child and helps them develop, but if a parent always plays with them, kids actually lose a few benefits such as developing their spatial awareness, conflict settlement, and risk management. Additionally, the parent loses too because playing with the children 24/7 takes away time from being able to manage other things such as cleaning, cooking, or even self-care.
It is important to note that sittervising doesn’t equal lazy parenting. Allison explains that it doesn’t mean the parent should never play with their children again but rather, it’s a method that they can employ to give themselves time to do other things and it’s the idea that parents don’t have to be “on” all the time. While playing with the children is a form of bonding, playtime doesn’t have to, and shouldn’t, consume the entire day. Sittervising also has strong benefits when it comes to building a healthy relationship with the children. Dr. Casares, the founder and CEO of the Modern Mamas Club says that the most secure forms of attachment are when children are able to go to and from parents comfortably, as opposed to being entirely dependent on the parents or being completely independent from them. Thus, sittervising can promote attachment security in children. However, children aside, one of sittervising’s biggest advantage is that it can help parents avoid burnout from parenting which is described by researchers as emotional depletion and decreased happiness.
Of course every parenting method isn’t one size fits all and it isn’t all or nothing. Sittervising doesn’t mean simply sitting and doing nothing all the time. While it is a good idea to take a step back from proactive parenting and employ this method, there are still times where a parent needs to step up and intervene. Simply put, sittervising isn’t a black and white option. If a child is doing something dangerous or may possibly hurt themselves and others, siitervising isn’t an excuse not to help them out.
photo from: https://www.mother.ly/news/viral-trending/sittervising-parenting-trend/
But what about that voice that echoes in the back of every parent’s mind saying they are a bad parent if they aren’t playing with their child 24/7? Well, parents need to keep in mind that on a regular basis, they are most likely already interacting with their children plenty of times in a day such as helping them get dressed, cooking and feeding them, and putting them to bed. Rather than overcompensate to the point of a complete burnout, parents should also remember that in sittervising, they are still doing something active for the kids and that’s by teaching them how to play alone, explore their vast environment, and allowing them to become self-sufficient.
Ultimately, sittervising is a thriving trend in parenting, but it has already been around for quite a long time without a name. Sometimes, parents do need to take a step back and allow their child to explore and interact with their surroundings. While it is embedded in every parent’s minds to be there for their child 24/7, perhaps they don’t have to be there all the time, especially if they see that their child is perfectly interacting with their peers or reading a book. For first time or long time parents and struggling ones, this method may be a refreshing take on parenting especially since the pandemic hit and everyone has been stuck in their houses. But still, tread on with caution as it may not necessarily be the kind of parenting method one should employ especially for their child whose needs may be different or unique from others. Though this trend is approved by many experts and doctors, the most foolproof way of being able to help a child develop well in their childhood is by consulting their pediatrician or a child therapist.
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