Parenting is like trying to put puzzle pieces together, constantly figuring out what fits and works for your child because even though one method may work for others, most times the whole picture for you and your little one greatly differs. Indeed, it is a task many find to be difficult and challenging but at the same time feels rewarding especially when you bear witness to their growth.
Due to the evolving nature of parenting, which is true as it varies from one child to the other, you might find yourself constantly adapting or changing your approach. In other cases, you may begin to wonder if there is another style or method worth trying all in the name of raising your child to become confident and happy.
What is Smart Parenting?
If you’ve been scouring the internet for tips on parenting, you would’ve most likely come across the words “smart parenting.” Unlike the four types of parenting, namely: authoritative, permissive, neglectful, and authoritarian, smart parenting on the other hand doesn't really have a fixed definition.
Defining “smart parenting” can be a personal thing—that is to say, how would you define it to be? Is it making use of digital resources to aid in the way you care for your kids? Or is it finding a parenting approach where you won’t feel drained or burned out by the end of the day? Perhaps, it can even be a mix of both. Whatever the case may be, smart parenting addresses what may be lacking in your routine or what you may be doing too much of.
The nature of Smart Parenting tips
Across the internet, there are dozens of articles that give tips on smart parenting or how it is to be one. These tips range from taking care of oneself to making sure you’re listening to your child’s own opinions. These are all great tips to consider, but taking a closer look, they seem to lean towards a specific parenting style namely the authoritative parenting style.
Parenting style: Authoritative
The authoritative parenting style entails being firm with boundaries and limits while also exuding warmth and nurturing qualities. Simply put, parents who are authoritative are able to find the right balance between being strict and being lenient. While they may have high expectations for their children, these expectations are often reasonable and the children are given the support they need emotionally. Many experts agree that this style is the ideal when it comes to parenting as it fosters a healthy relationship between parent and child that is founded on having trust and respect for one another. Meanwhile, the child is able to become resilient, develop respect, and is capable of taking accountability for their actions.
This parenting style however is not to be confused with another similar sounding one namely the authoritarian. On the other hand, authoritarian parents are characterised by their strictness with little room for their child to express themselves or be heard. While it may be effective in short term cases, plenty of experts agree that the cons outweigh the pros on this one as it leads to children developing low self-esteem, rebelliousness, and difficulty in managing their emotions.
Smart Parenting Tips
In a nutshell, smart parenting tips can be divided into parts: self, children, and family. While the self and family are explanatory, smart parenting tips focusing on children noticeably take its notes from the lens of authoritative parenting.
Self
Taking care of yourself first is important
You might be stretching yourself thin trying to do everything at once, especially when it comes to your children. Understandably, there is nothing parents won’t do for their child but it’s also important to remember to take care of yourself. Practising self-care is beneficial, not only for your physical body but also for your mental health as it is a key force that enables you to keep going. The essential part to parenting after all is you.
Indulge yourself once in a while
Allow yourself time to breathe once in a while by doing things that you enjoy. This can range from doing your hobbies or even just taking a short, simple walk outside. Sometimes you’ll need space away from your children, if only to recharge so you can come back stronger than ever.
Children
Understand the reason behind your child's actions
While children are undoubtedly prone to naughty behavior, it's important to look at the underlying reasons why they may be acting a certain way. For example, they may be simply excited to play with a friend but weren't aware that their actions might be a little too rough. In which case, gently guiding them the proper way to express it can help them in future situations. Meanwhile, in some cases, your child's behavior may reveal that they may be going through something a bit heavier than other children their age which you might not be aware of. For example, separation anxiety characterised by the feelings of worry that arise when someone isn't around, is normal for young children to go through and eventually goes away. However, in some instances, it can turn to become excessive leading to separation anxiety disorder which is why paying attention to your child and understanding their motives can help them overcome difficulties they otherwise aren't able to properly communicate.
Listen to what they have to say
No matter how young they are, it's important for children to feel that they are heard and that their feelings are acknowledged. Even if the problem they are facing isn't solvable or could even be trivial, lending them an ear is a great way of showing that you are there and that you care.
Family
Remember to bond with your partner and strengthen your relationship
The pillar of parenting lies in both you and your partner, thus it is essential that you don't neglect your relationship. By doing so, your children will be raised in a family that is healthy and loving.
Remember to set boundaries
Even family members need to be able to respect each other's spaces. Setting healthy boundaries such as allowing each member to have time for themselves or respecting their principles and beliefs can help the family maintain a harmonious relationship with one another.
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