There is a common misconception about disciplining kids with violence. Some believe that it is effective to instill fear in their children, for them to follow. However, instilling dominance is not the same as violence.
Children like copying adults, especially those they admire and adore. They believe that they are free to act whatever they like. Parents, keep in mind that you are raising the mother, father, wife, or husband of someone else. They are most likely to rear their children using the same methods of punishment you use with them. The family serves as a dispute resolution boot camp for kids.
Numerous sociologists, psychologists, and parents have urged us to seriously consider outlawing the physical punishment of children during the past few years. The fact that "all persons have the right to protection of their bodily integrity, and children are individuals too," in the words of Dr. Peter Newell, coordinator of the group End Punishment of Children (EPOCH)2, is the most crucial factor.
So, why should you not resort to violence while disciplining your kid? Here are some valid reasons below.
Violent discipline makes your kid more violent
Children that are hit learn to be struck themselves. There is now ample evidence to indicate a connection between childhood physical punishment and aggressive or violent conduct in adolescence and adulthood. The majority of the most dangerous offenders experienced frequent threats and punishment when they were young. Nature intends for kids to learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of their parents' acts, whether those activities are good or bad. Parents must thus give a good example of compassion and knowledge. Punishment must not encourage the abuse of children. Because when they have not learnt alternatives and automatically go into punishment mode when their child misbehaves, they are most likely conditioned to punish and set themselves up to treat young children more harshly.
It would not improve a kid’s behavior
Parental spanking worsens rather than improves a child's conduct, as we have frequently heard parents claim. This is why. Always keep in mind that a youngster will act appropriately if they feel appropriate. This idea is undermined by spanking. When a youngster gets slapped, he has internal conflict, which manifests in his behavior. He is spanked more frequently and feels worse the more he misbehaves. The cycle keeps on. We want the child to be aware of his wrongdoing, to experience regret, and to yet have faith in his inherent worth as a person. It is possible to sit down with him and have a conversation after the spanking to ensure that he is aware of what he did just as effectively. Alternatives to spanking may require more time and effort from the parent, but they may be considerably more thought- and conscience-provoking for the youngster. This brings up the fundamental justification for some parents' preference for spanking: it's simpler.
It breaks parent-child relationships
The relationship between a parent and kid is hampered by punishment since it is against human nature to feel affection for someone who has wronged us. Only through a solid connection built on shared sentiments of love and respect can the genuine spirit of collaboration that every parent seeks emerge. Even when it seems to work, punishment only causes children to behave well on the surface out of fear and can do so until they are old enough to resist. Contrarily, the respect-based collaboration will last forever, resulting in many years of mutual enjoyment as the kid and parent age.
It devalues the parent and child
The child's perception of how others, especially his parents, see him forms the basis of his self-image. Even in the most loving households, spanking sends a mixed message, especially to young kid who is unable to comprehend why they are being hit. Parents spend a lot of time fostering their child's feeling of value and making them feel "good," so when the youngster breaks a glass and gets spanked, he assumes that he must be terrible. Moreover, this also devalues the parent. Parents who spank, restrict, or otherwise abuse their children frequently feel worthless because they secretly realize that their method of punishment is wrong. They frequently slap out of desperation because they do not know what else to do, but when it does not work, they feel even more helpless. "I won the fight but lost the war,” as one mother who removed spanking from her list of acceptable punishments put it. “Now that my child fears me, I feel as though I have lost something priceless”.
Spanking may lead to a kid bottling up his emotions
Children who cannot safely express their anger or dissatisfaction end up storing it inside; angry teens do not just appear out of nowhere. Parents whose child finally feels strong enough to vent this hatred may be shocked to learn that their youngster has been harboring anger for a long time. Early on, the punishment could seem to "create excellent conduct," but when the child approaches adolescence and early adulthood, parents and society as a whole always pay a heavy price for it. In a prospective study spanning 19 years, researchers discovered that children who experienced frequent corporal punishment tended to be more egocentric and antisocial as adults, and that physical violence had become the norm for these kids as teens and adults.
Sends a bad message to your kids
The harmful and unjust message that physical punishment sends is that "might makes right," or that it is acceptable to harm someone as long as they are weaker and less strong than you. The young youngster subsequently concludes that it is OK to abuse younger or smaller children. College students who had more verbal abuse, physical punishment, and a vocal reprimand as children displayed higher psychological disorders. As an adult, he lacks empathy for others who are less fortunate than him and harbors the phobias of those in positions of authority. To have an emotionally full life, the development of meaningful connections will be hampered by this.
Comments