There is no question that the dating scene can sometimes be a little tricky. This doesn’t only go for adults but as well as for youngsters too. The what-to-do’s and how-to-do’s during a date can get overwhelming for a lot. Even adults may not always get the hang of it. But as teenagers, the pressure can be a lot. Of course, since it is going to be one of your firsts. Teens want to make sure they do it right the first time.
For a lot of parents, their children’s dating life may seem a concept so taboo to talk about. But as people who are responsible for their guidance, the topic of dating shouldn’t seem like a forbidden subject. There are some parents who provide an established set of rules for their children. One of the rules included in that is the rule of no dating until the child reaches a particular age. But we all know that the rules don’t always get to be followed and there’s no shame in that, especially in dating. It’s just normal for children to explore in their teenage years, and parents should be present during those years to prevent them from making irreversible bad decisions. When it comes to dating, aside from parents giving strict rules and boundaries, parents should also advice their children on the unspoken rules of dating. And if you’re the type of parent who needs a little help in advising their young ones on the do’s and don’ts, here are 3 main advices that you have to give.
1. Know the Red Flags
The first date says a lot about the person you are dating. Their punctuality, their treatment towards other people and to you. An individual’s punctuality is something you want to observe as this shows how much that person respects your time. Of course, no one wants late people and being late implies that you are all alone waiting. And if they are comfortable with the idea that you are doing nothing else but wait for their presence, then that might not be a good sign. If you notice your date to treat others in an unpleasable way perhaps they are a little rude to the waiter, then that says a lot about their character. People who are raised well treat others with utmost kindness regardless of what they do in life. You should also take into consideration how your date treats you. Getting into the specifics, this may pertain to how they speak to you and how they listen to you. If you notice your date to be all over the place in such a way that they don’t listen as much to you or their interest only boosts when it is their life being talked about, then you should know that’s not something you’ll want to have for the next following months.
However, you should also teach your child that above all, in order to find the right one, you must first be the right one. All the red flags talked about, you should not only keep an eye out for others but for your own being as well. One might be surprise to find out that they are the red flag themselves. You should also assess yourself if you have the qualities you try the hardest to avoid in others. Be punctual. Be kind. Have compassion.
2. Don’t Overcomplicate Things
Most of the time, people who go on first dates tend to mess up or embarass themselves simply because they get too worked up on things. It is no question that we want to make a good impression, but at the end of the day, if we are too fixated on the idea of making it ‘perfect’ then we get pressured way too much. The tendency to overcomplicate things always lead to trying so hard that it makes it obvious. More often than not, your date knows when you are just trying to impress them. Although, it is important to give a nice impression, but trying way too hard that it’s obvious can be a little off-putting. Keep in mind that it is best to just go with the flow. Be yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be a certain someone just for the date to go well. The only thing you have to do is to show who you are and if it goes to show that your personalities, principles, and values match then you might be off to a good start. If it’s meant to be, it always will be. If you are the right match, then the only thing you have to keep a watch out next is timing because timing isn’t always on your side when it comes to dating.
3. Consent Should Never Be Neglected
No matter how much we try to avoid the topic, it’s going to happen anyway. Might as well talk about it now than when it’s too late. As young adults, the topic of physical touch may not be new. Whether it may be only hugging, kissing, or even sex. And regardless of how far the first date goes, the first thing to ever do before going in is to make sure that consent is given. Consent is the most important thing one must remember before making a move because not only is this the basis of whether or not you should push through, but it also ensures that your partner is comfortable with what is going on. There are people who dismiss the value of consent and end up ruining the other person’s life. Trauma and anxiety that comes with neglect of consent is never a joke. Consent should be given just as much value as any vital thing in this world. Simple questions of ‘is it okay?’ can make a huge difference and what comes next to that is respecting the other person’s answer. Remember that silence is not a yes. Gestures are not a yes. Giving in is not a yes.
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