It’s no secret that one of the greatest joys of a parent lies in their children—seeing them grow and embark on their journey in life. Sure, raising kids can get chaotic but it also fills the family home with so much vitality. Eventually, time will come when they move out on their own to explore the world or start a family. It’s a proud moment for any parent to be sure, but it can get understandably lonely and they will at times worry over the safety of their children. Inevitably, the life of an empty nester begins.
For those unfamiliar, an empty nester is a term often used for parents whose children have grown into adults and have left home.
In these cases, some parents may find that their most important job is finished and while there is sadness or loneliness associated with it, they are able to bounce back and find new hobbies or reacquaint themselves with past interests they might’ve abandoned in favour of taking care of their children. However, there are those who experience the overwhelming turmoil that comes with their child leaving home where conflicting feelings of being proud and being sad arise. If you feel like this is the case for you, then you might be experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome.
Empty nest syndrome isn’t a clinical diagnosis but it is something that parents commonly go through which often goes unnoticed because an adult child moving out is a normal, healthy event that also marks their independence. But why do the parents feel this way? According to Wool (2022), the grief has something to do with parting from a lifestyle and relationship that became a huge part of their identity.
How do I know if it’s Empty Nest Syndrome? What are the symptoms?
1. Feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness that comes up whenever you remember that your children don’t live with you anymore. Additionally, you may be experiencing emotional distress where your feelings are all over the place. For example, at one point you might find yourself crying as certain objects at home elicit a beloved memory of your children. Later, you may be wondering what to do with your time which causes you fatigue.
2. Losing your sense of purpose or feeling that you are lacking one now that you aren’t always actively exercising the role of a parent in your day-to-day life.
3. Bouts of worry and anxiety pop up especially when you think of your child’s safety.
4. In relation to the above, you may also feel a lack of being in control as a parent because you can no longer check up on your child or be aware of what they’re up most times unlike when they lived in the same house. You may feel the need or want to call them up and know what they’re doing.
If you’re worried that the feeling might not go away, well the best answer to that is that every parent will have varying experiences of the empty nest syndrome. For some, it can last for a few weeks while others might find that it persists for years.
So, what can you do to cope?
Well, according to Jane At Home, you have to allow yourself to feel all those feelings and “shed your tears for the end of this chapter” because there is indeed life after your children leave home.
The next step in the process now is to find activities you can finally fulfil or hobbies that you can dip your toes into and see if it’s something worth keeping! Here is a list of what you can do:
1. Travel
In case travelling might've slipped your mind, here's a reminder! Who says your children are the only ones who could leave the "nest"? It's time to check up on those past travel plans you've skipped on (if any) and pack your bags! If not then it's a great opportunity to finally consider visiting the places you might've been dreaming of going to.
2. Declutter your home
At one point, your house might've been in a state of neglect with dusty cabinets and messy shelves. Clean up those spaces and get rid of clutter you no longer need.
3. Try creative endeavours
Even if you don't see yourself as someone artistic, it's never too late to try something new like drawing, painting, or even photography. If you're more musically inclined though, then you might want to spend more time with an instrument you haven't played for so long or learn something new. On the other hand, if you enjoy crafts then maybe now's the time to consider knitting or woodworking.
4. Learn a new language
Thanks to the internet, content from other countries became easier to access. Asian dramas for example have been getting a lot of attention. Regardless, if you're a fan of watching shows or movies from a country that isn't in your native tongue then it may be worthwhile to consider learning their language! Not only can you proudly say you don't need subtitles, but it also opens you to more opportunities of meeting new people and making friends.
5. Spend more time with friends
Inevitably, your friendships become neglected especially when you're a busy parent. But now that you've more time for yourself, you can take this opportunity to reconnect with them by meeting up at a local coffee shop and finally have long uninterrupted conversations. Perhaps you can even get together for a little getaway. In any case, nurture those friendships!
6. Focus on taking care of yourself and relaxing
This can be done in many ways, such as taking nice long baths or allowing yourself days where you can comfortably sleep in without a worry. You can also start taking care of your health by exercising, going out on early morning walks, or even getting into yoga. In terms of relaxation, now's the perfect chance to invest your time into TV shows you might've missed before or finally getting into a book everyone's been talking about.
When feelings of empty nest syndrome come and go, remember to take it slow and allow yourself grace to take the changes as they come one at a time.
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