As a married couple, the honeymoon phase is always one of the best phases and sometimes we just can’t help but wish that it lasts forever. But the sad news is that the reality of marriage doesn’t always come to terms with what we see in the media. We often see that marriage is a sacred thing that involves a happy wife and a happy husband all the time. The truth is that marriage is not a smooth sailing journey and fights are frequent and it gets tough. However, the good news is that there are many ways to handle fights. Especially, if it’s your first one. The first one is always the toughest one because it’s something that you won’t forget as a married couple. How a couple handles fights says a lot about their foundation as partners. This is why it’s important to know the right steps to take, the right words to say, and how to bounce back from that fight stronger as a couple. To handle your like an understanding partner, here are the things you have to keep in mind and the things you have to act upon.
Try to calm yourself down
Being calm and collected is one of the most key things to keep in mind when in an argument. A lot of the time, relationships falter because of fights that get too overboard. This means the two parties are in a state of distress that it becomes that their sole purpose of arguing is to hurt each other. When you are calm, you get to understand the whole situation for itself. It is not tainted by any mixed thoughts because of how we feel. It is how it is blandly. Being calm in situations like this clears our mind to say the right things that help mitigate the situation. It helps us come up with the steps to take that will mend broken hearts. While it is a very hard task to do. As human as we are, we also get very immersed in what we feel which manifests in our actions. But it takes a whole lot of courage to calm ourselves when the situation urges us to lose our cool. This is a trait that keeps relationships grounded on the same love that first started it. Always remember that it is not you against your partner but you and your partner against the problem at hand. That is the sole principle of being married, is to have each other in times of difficulty and to solve them with the support of one another.
In a state of anger, try not to speak so much
Saying words we don’t mean because of intense emotions always ends up badly. When we are mad, biting our tongues is the best thing to do because we often cannot think straight, let alone say things we mean. It is only our emotions that will get the best of us. And the bad thing about words is that once they are out, you can never take them back. A lot of couples say nasty things to their partner and no matter how many years pass by, those nasty words will always be engraved in their mind. Sometimes when we want to explain our side, we cannot contain ourselves and because we are overclouded by our raging feelings, we tend to get sidetracked by what is really important—our relationship. This is why we should always be cautious of our words and the emotional state we are in. Assess first your emotions if you are in a stable condition to speak out. If not, then it’s best to say to your partner that you would rather cool down before voicing out your thoughts. Silence, when the situation calls for it, saves a lot of couples.
Don’t let pride get in the way
One of the many causes of failed marriages is pride. Pride is a very dangerous thing when established in the wrong situations. It is couple’s worst enemy and it’s hard to fight. Just like any other feeling, we just can’t help it. Especially when we think we are in the right. Sometimes we want to argue until we finally the conclusion that we are right is reached. Well, you can do that, if it’s what floats your boat. However, we have to remember a very famous saying that goes ‘lose the argument, win the person, and win the argument, but lose the person.’ While it may just be a saying, you might be surprised as to how many successful marriages keep this in mind. And with that in their mind, there is no pride just full love. Pride doesn’t give us the love we need, it is our partners who do that. So why is it that most people prioritize their pride the most when it is something that gives little to no benefit. Whatever happens, you must keep your relationship above all emotions you feel because loves endures and love is humility.
Learn to say ‘Sorry’
A lot of people would rather die than say the S word. Although, we cannot blame them. Saying sorry when you know the other person doesn’t deserve it gives the worst feeling of all. And this is why you have to remember that in this situation, the person you have to say sorry to isn’t just another person. It’s the person that gives you joy, love, and contentment. It’s the person you’re spending the rest of your life with. And if it’s the person that helps you get by in this cruel world, then it must be a person that deserves that one little word. We always tend to only give out our sorry’s to those who only deserve it because we are under the impression that you say sorry because you are at fault. It is safe to say that sorry isn’t always given when you are the one that caused the problem. Sometimes, you say sorry for being the reason of someone’s hurt. It doesn’t always mean that you are the one in the wrong but it does go to say that you’ve been a cause of hurting. And if you hurt someone, why don’t they deserve an apology?
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